My cough medicine may be socialist, but...

... there's no beating that delicious cherry flavor.

It is very silly to watch the health care debate take place in Alabama when I lived, albeit briefly, in a place where I was eligible for "socialist health care." I will start by admitting that I never had to make use of it during my short Canadian stay, but I argue that that's not the point. The point of health care coverage is knowing it's there when you actually do need it.

Anyone in the United States that is sitting around with their health care card thinking everything's aces and they can get whatever care they need, no matter the circumstances, is frankly delusional. That's assuming, of course, that you have a job - no, make that a "good job" - that happens to have selected a decent slate of health care plans from which to choose. This is assuming that your employer gave you that choice, and that also assumes that you have the money to pay the premiums associated with the decent health care plan.

So, a host of assumptions later, you have a "decent health care plan." This plan comes with a shiny blue card (I live in a state, after all, where 70% of employers use health care plans from the Shiny Blue Symbol Company - insert corporate socialism crack here), and it also comes with a whole list of qualifications, exemptions, exceptions, co-payments, and a big fat "preexisting conditions" clause.

To review: if you have a medical need in this country, you can get whatever care you deserve, as long as:

• You have a job
• Your employer provides insurance
• You can afford said insurance
• You've had the insurance for X days
• You don't have a preexisting condition
• You call ahead
• You're not out of state

Don't worry, free market: you'll still get the bill at the end. I received a bill for a routine doctor visit (after a year of fun medical billing exchanges between my doctor and my insurance company). My insurance didn't cover "well visits." Ahem:

"So, my doctor visits only get covered if he diagnoses an illness?"

"Yes."

"So you'll pay a ridiculous sum of money if I get sick, but you won't pay for preventative measures to catch things early before the potential cost balloons out of control?"

"Well, yes. But..." (I hung up the phone at this point, because I was at work, and I try to keep my profanity there to a minimum. Because it makes baby Jesus cry.)

My point of all of this is as follows: there is a whole host of people parading around in this country acting like the Government (we use a big "G" here) is trying to take away their freedom of choice (irony intended) in making medical decisions. The huge joke here is that those people don't have that freedom in the first place. In the best of circumstances they have a private health care plan that is largely controlled by their employment status, the whims of their employer, and the side of the bed that the person processing medical claims wakes up on during any given morning. Even more delicious as pointed out by my intelligent west-coast cousin is that most of the people complaining are older sorts who will soon be eligible for... wait for it... socialized health care.

Frankly, people, if you're too dumb to realize what you've got (or even better, what you don't have), and you choose to fight against it when it's offered to you... you get the picture.

It's even practical. Here's a common conversation I've had all too frequently as of late:

"Oh, socialist Obama blah blah poor people blah blah welfare state blah blah Great Society LBJ asswipe blah Barry Goldwater. Wait, didn't you live in Canada?"

"Yes."

"And the health care?"

"I had what is called an OHIP card, yes."

"Was everything ridiculous there?"

"No, actually. If you take my insurance premiums and add my taxes, you'd get about the same as the income tax rate there."

"Oh. Blah blah socialist bastard."

Indeed. On that note, I'll save my "what I think would work" post for another time...